Thursday, September 17, 2009

I Got A Job, I Got A Job, I Got A Job, Hey Hey Hey Hey!

I have been doing a happy dance for the past 5 hours! It all happened in a matter of 3 hours too. I got a call from a friend of a family member who was looking to fill a position at her company. I went in to meet with her at 4:30 and was offered and accepted the job at 5:15. I actually start tomorrow. How cool is it to start a new job on a Friday!? One day of work and then two days off..Woo-hoo! Not to mention that I am thrilled that this job will not involve the changing of poopy diapers or wiping of snot like the other option I thought I was going to have to take. I am so excited. I will be Executive Assistant to the owner of a Property Management Company and I will also serve as the Executive Assistant to her husband who owns a CPA Firm. This is such an amazing opportunity and will be an invaluable learning experience for me. I am thrilled!!!! Woo-hoo, Woo-hoo, and one more...Woo-hoo!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I Blinked And It's 2am

It's 2am and I am still wired. Thank you, Starbucks, for bottling your Frappuccinos and making them available for me to drink long after the doors to your cafes have closed.

So I'm in the middle of job hunting and let me tell you it has been an interesting journey. I know that my resume is one of hundreds being submitted for various jobs. I have applied for everything I can find that I'm qualified for. My medical bills are screaming to be paid and my wardrobe is in desperate need of an update.

A week or so ago, I stumbled across an ad looking for hair models. I have extremely versatile hair that has been every color on the spectrum at some point in time. When I get restless, I dye my hair...truth be told, I don't know what my natural color is anymore. Anywho, I sent in a picture and my hair info as requested. Here is a snippet of the e-mail I received that led me to block any future communication with this particular "company":

How very nice- not your typical Dallas look and that is refreshing. Who in your family is a stylist? (just general curosity). I think we would want to make use of you. Please take some photos in natural light (you do not need to stand in the middle of the street in the sun). These obviously do not need to be professional. This will help speed up the process as we would have to do all of this anyway, so time is always of the essence with deadlines. Give me several closeup photos of your head hair from the side or rear that will more closely show color and texture. Give me a closeup of your upper face that shows eyes, eyebrows, forehead and some of your hair. Give me a shot of whatever that shows your true skin color and give me a shot of you true natural hair color (pubic).

I had to re-read that last line about three times to get over the initial shock. This guy actually asked for a picture of no man's land! I took this experience as my initiation into the world of job hunting.

My initiation was furthered yesterday when I went to an interview that had been set up on Monday. The woman I spoke with was very vague on the job details which probably should have tipped me off. Anyway, I walked in to the office and was directed to a room with about 50 other people in it. Turned out to be one of those cattle call interviews for some BS sales job. The guy who did the presentation kept saying that it wasn't a sales job and that it wasn't a pyramid scheme. In my experience, when they feel the need to state that over and over again, it's not anything I want to get involved with. What a waste of my interview outfit!

I will be more selective about where I send my resume from now on. And no more attempts to break into the hair modeling industry. Goodness!

I'll end my 2am ramble here. I may have to go run laps outside to tire myself out. Damn you, Starbucks!

Windex and Some Random Photography

I've been a slug pretty much all summer. I've been out of work and dealing with medical issues (that are FINALLY over...can I get a woo-hoo?!). I think it was the combination of that wonderful phone call I received yesterday and the crispness of a cool 74 degrees today that kicked me in the buns with some steel-toed motivation. I am officially a cleaning machine! My day of cleaning included: taking an electric screw driver to a clogged drain (it worked quite well actually), vacuuming a bug off the ceiling (poor little guy..I said I was sorry), cleaning a bathtub with Windex (I've found that Windex will clean ANYthing) and oohing and awwing at the amazing powers of Pledge. I promise this isn't the first time that I've ever cleaned but I won't lie, it has been a hot minute. I think that I have awakened my inner neat freak. I knew she was in there somewhere. My mom cleans like a maniac and until now, I thought those talents were lost on me. I'll admit that I've been a bit of a slob in the past. My old roommates used to joke that I had ex-boyfriends buried under all of the clutter in my room. Now, I am on a kick. I tackled the dust and soap scum today. I plan to kick the clutter's ass tomorrow!

On another note:

It has been raining here for almost a week now. Very rare weather for Texas. I am chomping at the bit to get outside and take some pictures but the weather is not cooperating with me. Out of boredom, I began photographing random things found around The Boyfriend and I's apartment. Then, to kill time, I played with them on the computer. Here is the final product of my restlessness.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Doing My Happy Dance!

I received the best phone call ever this morning. It was my doctor calling to say that all of my tests came back normal and I am officially cancer free! Wa-hoo!!! It's like having a million pounds lifted off of my shoulders. I feel like I can finally start my life again without any reservations. Now, if only I could land the right job things would be perfect.

Anyway, I just wanted to share the cheer! Hope everyone has a fabulous day!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Who The Hell Does That Happen To?

I got the inspiration for this one at 5 o'clock this morning when I woke up to a loud crashing noise. The boyfriend woke up too but for some reason I was the one to go investigate. (You know, come to think of it, I'm always the one that gets up to inspect strange noises..hmm) Anyway, I check the bathroom first as our shower curtain has a tendency to fall down at very random times. I found the shower curtain completely as it should be. My next stop was the living room where everything was in its place and then I turned to look in the kitchen... I found our super schnazzy fluorescent light hanging from the ceiling by just the wires. There are bits of ceiling on the floor and it looks like the screws just ripped completely out. Luckily we are living in an apartment and they have a maintenance team to handle things like this so it shouldn't cost us anything to have it replaced. But really, who the hell does that happen to?!

I survived the snow and ice of last winter unscathed. It was a one year old that took me down. I was working as a pre-school teacher and was trying to change the diaper of an exceptionally squirmy and incredibly heavy 14 month old. Once the diaper was finally changed I lifted him up to move him all of 5 feet to his crip for naptime. I made it about 2 feet when he started squirming as I simultaneously stepped on a toy, lost my balance and landed on my left knee while still holding the kid. As I'm writhing on the floor in pain and uttering censored profanities (ie: fudge, shidoodee, fiddle sticks) the little booger started laughing and clapping his hands. Fun for him = a trip to the hospital for me. I spent the holidays in what they call a knee immobilizer. I referred to it as the freaking mattress the doctor made me wear around my leg. Let me tell you how fun it is to Christmas shop like that. I'm responsible for knocking down several displays at Belk.

It was March, I was in a crappy mood and The Boyfriend and I were in Wal-Mart. He was browsing aisle by aisle while I followed, arms crossed, toes tapping. I was ready to go. The Boyfriend likes to make sure that we get the best deal by comparing the prices of absolutely EVERYTHING. For me, turning a 4 hour shopping trip into a 30 minute shopping trip is worth the extra money. Anyway, I'm starting to get really snippy with him so he recommends that I go browse the books and he'll meet me up front. So I stomp off to the book section and I suddenly remember that there is in fact a book that I want. Once I deduce that Wal-Mart does not carry this book, I turn to stomp back towards the cash registers. I make it about four steps when I suddenly find myself hitting the floor ass first. Stunned, I look around to try to figure out what has happened. As I try to stand up, my foot slides out from under me and I'm back on the floor. At this point I can hear The Boyfriend laughing hysterically behind me...Go figure that this would happen the exact moment that he walks up. Once I finally get back on my feet and manage to stay there, I find the culprit. It's a small green grape...the only small green grape on the floor of the entire Wal-Mart, and it just so happened to end up under my foot. The Boyfriend describes it like this...he says "I see her stomping around in the book section all pissed off and then suddenly, she's gone. Then her head pops up for a second, and she goes down again." I'm glad someone got a laugh out of it.

One of the craziest things that's happened to me took place in the office of a company that I used to work for. I was on the phone with a client explaining the benefits of his insurance policy. I had an itch on my leg and when I reached down to relieve said itch, my finger was met by what felt like a lit match. I look down and there is a giant bumble bee hanging out on the seam of my khakis. Keep in mind, I'm still on the phone with the client. The burning quickly turns to throbbing as my hand begins to swell up. I'm waving around like a lunatic trying to get the attention of a co-worker. I explain to my client that I need to call him back, trying to keep my voice steady and hold in the expletives that are dying to burst out. I slam down the phone and let the words loose (I think I taught my boss some new ones that day).

Hope you enjoyed. Feel free to leave your "who the hell does that happen to" stories in the comments. I love to hear other people's. It makes me feel like Murphy isn't just out to get me! (In case you're having a slow moment, Murphy, like Murphy's Law)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Experimenting with Saturation and Contrast

A Few Photos

While waiting for my USB cord to arrive via UPS, I discovered that this particular cord is actually quite common and actually found one hiding at my parents' house tonight. Boy how I love to waste money on things that I think I need. Oh well...better to have more than one I guess. On the plus side, I was finally able to upload some of the pictures that I've taken. So here are a few. Most of them were taken at Cedar Creek Lake in TX. And, yes, I know that the wine bottle is out of focus, I meant for it to come out that way. I was messing around with different techniques trying to jog my memory.

Be kind with any criticism as it's been a while since I've had a camera in hand. Posting these is actually almost as nerve racking as getting naked in front of someone for the first time!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Bitch Session #1

I finally managed to find the USB cord that I need for my camera. It was a real bargain at $3.99. What bugs is that the shipping is twice as much! Oh well, I've searched high and low and this is the best deal that I could find.

Is it just me or does anyone else have a problem with how Subway makes their sandwiches? I bitch about this all time. I can sum up my grievance in just one sentence..."The TOPpings are called TOPpings because they belong on the TOP of the sandwich!" I miss the divot they used to cut into the bread. It was perfect, everything stayed where it was supposed to and the bread didn't get all soggy. They need to bring that back.

To drivers in Texas, if you need to pull over then pull the road! I have never in my life lived in a place where people just park in the middle of the road. I see it all the time out here. Even on the highways...there's a shoulder for a reason, people.

Why is it that when you go to a fast food drive thru and ask for ketchup they hand you a whopping two packets? I always ask for more and they give me a disgruntled look like I'm asking for their first born. I actually got into an altercation with the staff at a Wendy's a few years ago. I asked for A LOT of ketchup (I got meals for 4 people). The guy handed me 3 packets so I nicely asked for more. He handed me 1 me that was just rude. So I again asked for more and he just shrugged at I said "In what world is four tiny packets of ketchup enough for four large orders of fries?" At this point, the manager sauntered up to the window and asked me what the problem was. I nicely explained that I needed enough ketchup for four meals and that four packets just wasn't going to cut it. Her snarky remark was "Exactly how many packets would you like?" My reply, "Eleven". She then explained that they didn't have eleven packets left at the window, so I told her she ought to carry herself up front and get some more. She handed me 2 more packets and told me to be on my way. At this point, I was furious...I could've just driven off and stewed about it, bitched about it and then gotten over it, but that's not quite my I parked the car, walked inside and dumped the entire bin of ketchup packets into the to-go bag. The next time I visited this particular Wendy's, the ketchup was hidden behind the counter. It's nice to know that I've left a small dent in the world :o)

Monday, September 7, 2009

Pictures Coming Soon

Spent the long weekend at my parent's lake house. I got some amazing shots of a blue heron that likes to hang around our dock. Unfortunately, the USB cord to my camera is MIA and I've found that they aren't so easy to replace. I've called three camera stores, Best Buy and Radio Shack and they all tell me that the only cables they have are the ones that come with the cameras. I wonder if I could get a business loan to open a store that sells only cords and cables... I bet it would make a killing. Thank God for Amazon and Ebay. Hopefully, I will be able to upload the pictures in 3-5 business days.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Hormones and Meltdowns

Last night around 7pm: The boyfriend arrives home from a grueling day of hard work to find me buried under the sheets, fully clothed, in the fetal position and bawling my eyes out.

Boyfriend: (cautious) Honey, what's wrong?

Me: Everything

Boyfriend: (gives quizzical eyebrow raise, there's a quick glimmer of amusement but he's smart enough after five years to shove the amusement away and try to seem serious)

Me: I can't find a job, I have $9.00 in my bank account, I owe over $2,000 in medical bills and I'm just really pissed right now (through sobs of course)

Boyfriend: It'll be alright..we'll get it taken care of. We aren't completely broke and the bills will get paid. (gives the "come on it's not the end of the world look")

Me: (annoyed that he doesn't see that it is in fact the end of the world, at least in my current hormonal state of mind) I can't paint anymore, I can't even take a decent picture...I'm not good at anything anymore. (he still doesn't look like he gets it so I throw out my biggest grievance) My ass won't even fit in my jeans! (huge sob ensues)

Boyfriend: (treading lightly and suppressing laughter) Honey, you're wearing your jeans right now..They look fine.

Me: (through choked sobs, I'm now doing the half-hyperventilation thing) It's because I'm laying down. When I sit up my butt overflows (huge sobs)

A new day's perspective:

Okay, so maybe it isn't really the end of the world. I should know, I've been in way worse circumstances in the last 9 months.

The bills can wait, it's not like they are going to come to life and stab me in my sleep! My ass really isn't that big (I still wear a size 5, but I still swear that it seems to be more plump than it was last week). I have a rather promising lead on a job that will hopefully pan out . And I even found a few savings bonds from the 80's which solved the money dilemma, for now. Just goes to show that things will always get better. They will sometimes get worse, but it all comes full circle. Now, if my follow up appointment next week indicates that I'm not cancer free, I will be singing a much different tune. But I'll be keeping up the optimism until then!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Dear Medical Billing Specialist....

Job hunting is difficult when there's no prey. The job market is ridiculous right now. And it's true what they say, it is easier to find a job when you have one. I've been out of work for a few months now. I taught pre-school and opted to not renew my contract at the end of the school year. I had some medical troubles and just needed a break. So now that I'm ready to go back to work, jobs are scarce. And as the weeks go by, the medical bills pile up. Here is the letter that I really want to send to the medical billing department:

Dear Sir:

It's not that I don't want to pay you, I really really do. I have just been a little bit tight on money lately, you know with being out of work and having been sick and all. But I think that $650 is more than reasonable for a CT Scan that takes less than 5 minutes of your was so nice of ya'll to cut the cost in half for me. And $450 is just such a bargain for pathology reports....who knew a few faxes could come so cheap?! Oh and boy, don't get me started on the $150 blood work and the $920 procedure. You folks are just amazing for cutting me such a break on those. It was just like Christmas when those bills came in! I wasn't even expecting them since you weren't required to tell me about the cost before the tests. It was such a thrill and I would just like to thank you for the sleepless nights, early morning phone calls and all the fun letters you've been sending me.

So, to sum it all up...I will get the money to you...eventually. There's a reason that not paying you won't eff up my credit too badly. That reason is that you people grossly overcharge. I'm quite confident that you won't starve without my payments.

All The Best, (yea, who am I kidding, that's a lie)

Oil Paintings on Card Stock- Budget Paintings

I know these aren't great. I don't claim to be talented when it comes to painting or drawing. But I enjoyed painting them.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Painting On a Budget...and a few old poems

I found an old set of oil paints and brushes today. With my budget for art supplies standing at $0 I made due. The paints were in fair condition considering that they've been boxed away for nearly 6 years. The brushes, on the other hand, were rock hard. Let's just say that I might as well have been finger painting. My other challenge, the fact that I don't have a single blank canvas. Instead, I used the card stock that I've been using to print resumes on. Of three paintings, one is actually good enough for me to feel comfortable sharing. It's still drying out but I hope to upload it tomorrow.

Let me also add that I cannot draw to save my life which means that painting does not come naturally either. I'm an abstract amateur artist at best. Photography and poetry are more my mediums.

Here are a few poems from my collection to end this post. Again, they are all untitled:

Roses blossom
From the trodden
Dirt path
In the center
They bloom
Brilliant red
Cavernous black

Just one more moment
I'm still lost
In the maze of
Your eyes

I stumble along
In the blinding darkness
The deafening silence
To my place of peace
Your arms

Sunday, August 30, 2009


A wish
Second guessed
Then taken
Ripped away
Another piece
Of me


This one has taken a beating over the years. It was
underexposed to begin with but I think it gives
it a little something.

NYC is the best place in the world to photograph

This is my absolute favorite piece. It is a stairwell at Maymont Park in Richmond, VA. I won a few contests with this image and have sold a few prints.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Found one of my portfolios!!

This is one of my favorites. I exposed it onto metallic paper.
I really miss being in a darkroom. It is so much easier to work with digital media but there is such a great sense of accomplishment when you take flimsy film and turn it into artwork.

This is the same image printed on regular old photo paper.

A Few Old Poems

Here are some old poems that I came across while rummaging through storage yesterday. They're all Untitled:

Wilderness of crazy hair
Entraps an oval face
Guided by a faulty light

That shines to another place
Walks alone in cold despair

Through dark & treacherous night

Breathes in and out the poisoned air
As she reaches for the light


Calling you
In fits of

Another chance


Then I knew if
The truth would


You sleep
And I hate you

I rise with the sun
Can't sleep til dark again
Makes me feel empty
I need the sun
The breeze
The smell of day
You need the moon
The stars
The mystery of night
How can it work?
Day and Night
Cannot be together
They have but mere moments
In common


Friday, August 28, 2009

I Survived My Storage Unit

I am happy to report that I made it out of my storage unit alive. I did get myself trapped at one point but no serious injuries. I am fairly ticked off to report that I still have not located my portfolios and journals. I found some old work from a class I took in high school and a few of my very amateur attempts at painting. I'm hoping that the portfolios will turn up soon. I've run out of places to look and maybe I'm just looking too hard. This just means that I better get busy working on a new portfolio. Luckily I still have the slides that got me into SCAD so I can get reprints of my work.

This is my sorry attempt at painting. It's acrylic mixed medium (the weird squares are actually fragments of a mirror). I think I'll stick to the photography for now. More to come later...

Thursday, August 27, 2009


Well, today really put a hitch in my giddy-up! The weather was formidable and my little models (the kids I nanny for) were in remarkably uncooperative moods. What can I say, they are 2 and 4! I attempted to establish some decent lighting and an appropriate back-drop inside. The pictures looked like candids that the 2 year old probably could have taken. Better luck next time. I'm feeling rather's been a really crappy year for me. My sudden desire to recapture my long lost talents is a product of having survived some fairly awful events recently. I'm trying to find some silver lining and give myself a much needed ego boost. I will try again tomorrow. I'm off of work so I'll have to find someone or something else to photograph. Keeping my fingers crossed. In the meantime I will be working on scanning in my old portfolios....once I find them.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Some Old Work

I swore by my 35mm SLR and promised to never go digital. This makes it quite a task to keep up with my old portfolios and even more of a challenge to get the images onto my computer. Here are a few pictures that I happened to have stored on my old lap top.

This first one is of a man that I encountered while vacationing in Belize. He creates these paintings with only his fingers and nails.

This next image is a still life that was doctored on PhotoShop. It was for a project in the Commercial Photography course that I took in high school. Wow, it has been a long time!

Covering The Bases

So after my first blogging attempt, I have decided to err on the side of caution just in case blogging doesn't turn out to be my niche. I have located my professional digital camera and plan to dig through the boxes in my storage unit until I find my old notebooks and art supplies. I am determined to find a creative outlet and to start doing what I used to enjoy again.

Today was a day of preparation. Tomorrow I will make my first attempt at children's portraits in over 3 years. I am lucky to know about a bazillion families with small children who are more than willing to let me photograph them.

My plan for Friday is to paint something. I am not talented when it comes to drawing and painting. My paintings are always abstract because I have never been able to recreate an existing image. I paint emotion and most of the time my paintings are hideous. But for me, it's not about the finished product, it's about the rewards that are gained in the simple act of putting brush to canvas.

Wish me luck!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Blog Virgin

First off, forgive me, I am completely new to this whole blogging thing. I am using this as a last ditch effort to bust through the wall of writer's block that's been surrounding me for the past 3 years. I used to write to get things work through crap. I had aspired to become a photojournalist to combine both of my passions (and what used to be my talents) into a rewarding career. But it seems that I have been losing bits and pieces of myself over the years. So this is my anonymous attempt to get some of those pieces back.