Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I Blinked And It's 2am

It's 2am and I am still wired. Thank you, Starbucks, for bottling your Frappuccinos and making them available for me to drink long after the doors to your cafes have closed.

So I'm in the middle of job hunting and let me tell you it has been an interesting journey. I know that my resume is one of hundreds being submitted for various jobs. I have applied for everything I can find that I'm qualified for. My medical bills are screaming to be paid and my wardrobe is in desperate need of an update.

A week or so ago, I stumbled across an ad looking for hair models. I have extremely versatile hair that has been every color on the spectrum at some point in time. When I get restless, I dye my hair...truth be told, I don't know what my natural color is anymore. Anywho, I sent in a picture and my hair info as requested. Here is a snippet of the e-mail I received that led me to block any future communication with this particular "company":

How very nice- not your typical Dallas look and that is refreshing. Who in your family is a stylist? (just general curosity). I think we would want to make use of you. Please take some photos in natural light (you do not need to stand in the middle of the street in the sun). These obviously do not need to be professional. This will help speed up the process as we would have to do all of this anyway, so time is always of the essence with deadlines. Give me several closeup photos of your head hair from the side or rear that will more closely show color and texture. Give me a closeup of your upper face that shows eyes, eyebrows, forehead and some of your hair. Give me a shot of whatever that shows your true skin color and give me a shot of you true natural hair color (pubic).

I had to re-read that last line about three times to get over the initial shock. This guy actually asked for a picture of no man's land! I took this experience as my initiation into the world of job hunting.

My initiation was furthered yesterday when I went to an interview that had been set up on Monday. The woman I spoke with was very vague on the job details which probably should have tipped me off. Anyway, I walked in to the office and was directed to a room with about 50 other people in it. Turned out to be one of those cattle call interviews for some BS sales job. The guy who did the presentation kept saying that it wasn't a sales job and that it wasn't a pyramid scheme. In my experience, when they feel the need to state that over and over again, it's not anything I want to get involved with. What a waste of my interview outfit!

I will be more selective about where I send my resume from now on. And no more attempts to break into the hair modeling industry. Goodness!

I'll end my 2am ramble here. I may have to go run laps outside to tire myself out. Damn you, Starbucks!


  1. Geez Lins, I'd say welcome back to the working world but those two are definitely in a world all their own. How insulting!

    "No man's land" huh? That's HILARIOUS!! Never heard it referred to that way before.

    Speaking of jobs did you hear about the woman working QA on the Tickle-Me-Elmo factory assembly line?....

  2. Oh, I've been meaning to mention this for a while. Are you familiar with HDR (High Dynamic Range) photography? Whether you are or not, check out for some OUTSTANDING photography. I promise you won't be disappointed Lins. Don't worry, I'm not throwing any spam at you with this.

    And I left a comment about your photos on your Sunday, Sept. 13th post. Not sure if you saw it.


  3. I have not heard about the woman on the Tickle Me Elmo assembly line..enlighten me (unless that was joke that went totally over my head).

    I'll have to check out that website. Thank you for telling me about it.

  4. Wow, they do that? Is that a common thing for them to request pics of your pubic hair? That's...interesting. o.O

  5. Okay Lins, here it is...

    A woman has landed a job working Quality Control at the Tickle-Me-Elmo factory. It's her first day at the end of the assembly line, and her job is to test each Elmo before it's packaged.

    The supervisor spends some time explaining what needs to be done and leaves the woman to it. A few hours later she returns to check in with her new employee, and is mortified to find two fuzzy red balls between each Elmo doll's legs.

    "What are you doing?!" the supervisor asks, her voice raised.
    "I'm doing just what you told me to," the woman responds.
    "No you're not," the supervisor replies. "I told you to give each one two TEST-TICKLES!"


    The woman is fired from the job four hours into her shift and subsequently goes on to work for a questionable hair-modelling agency in Dallas, doing meaningless shoots for obscure men's magazines.


  6. Lee, as far as I know, that isn't a normal request!

    Barry, you have The Boyfriend and I laughing our buns off with that one. I love it and plan to tell it to everyone I know tomorrow! Love the ending too...Lol

  7. Glad you guys liked it Lins! Can I ask what your boyfriend's name is? I can't recall if you mentioned it before.

    M'kay, one more before bedtime (it's almost midnight here in Toronto). I think these are the only two clean jokes I know, but I'd probably come across as kinda creepy if I told you the others. :) Here goes.

    A couple in their early sixties is celebrating their thirty-fifth anniversary at a very upscale restaurant. All of a sudden, *poof*. A genie appears on the table. She looks at them and says, "You're obviously still very much in love, and you've had a great marriage all these years. Because of this I'm going to grant you each one wish".

    She looks at the wife, and the woman says, "I want an all-expenses paid trip around the world." *poof*, two tickets for the Queen Mary II appear on the table. Most expensive cabin, all expenses covered for a four-week trip. The woman is ecstatic.

    The genie looks at the husband, he looks at his wife and says, "My dear I do love you and it's been a great marriage. But a chance like this comes only once, and I'll never get this opportunity again. So my wish is to have a wife who's thirty years younger than me."

    *poof* He's ninety-two.



  8. hehehehe I've been to interviews like that as well. I say run for your life!

  9. Amen, Cindy! My sister and her husband got wrapped up in one of those BS job scams a few years ago. It's ridiculous how people take advantage of each other.

    Barry, The Boyfriend's name is Jason and I loved your genie joke.