Thursday, September 3, 2009

Hormones and Meltdowns

Last night around 7pm: The boyfriend arrives home from a grueling day of hard work to find me buried under the sheets, fully clothed, in the fetal position and bawling my eyes out.

Boyfriend: (cautious) Honey, what's wrong?

Me: Everything

Boyfriend: (gives quizzical eyebrow raise, there's a quick glimmer of amusement but he's smart enough after five years to shove the amusement away and try to seem serious)

Me: I can't find a job, I have $9.00 in my bank account, I owe over $2,000 in medical bills and I'm just really pissed right now (through sobs of course)

Boyfriend: It'll be alright..we'll get it taken care of. We aren't completely broke and the bills will get paid. (gives the "come on it's not the end of the world look")

Me: (annoyed that he doesn't see that it is in fact the end of the world, at least in my current hormonal state of mind) I can't paint anymore, I can't even take a decent picture...I'm not good at anything anymore. (he still doesn't look like he gets it so I throw out my biggest grievance) My ass won't even fit in my jeans! (huge sob ensues)

Boyfriend: (treading lightly and suppressing laughter) Honey, you're wearing your jeans right now..They look fine.

Me: (through choked sobs, I'm now doing the half-hyperventilation thing) It's because I'm laying down. When I sit up my butt overflows (huge sobs)

A new day's perspective:

Okay, so maybe it isn't really the end of the world. I should know, I've been in way worse circumstances in the last 9 months.

The bills can wait, it's not like they are going to come to life and stab me in my sleep! My ass really isn't that big (I still wear a size 5, but I still swear that it seems to be more plump than it was last week). I have a rather promising lead on a job that will hopefully pan out . And I even found a few savings bonds from the 80's which solved the money dilemma, for now. Just goes to show that things will always get better. They will sometimes get worse, but it all comes full circle. Now, if my follow up appointment next week indicates that I'm not cancer free, I will be singing a much different tune. But I'll be keeping up the optimism until then!

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