Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Dear Medical Billing Specialist....

Job hunting is difficult when there's no prey. The job market is ridiculous right now. And it's true what they say, it is easier to find a job when you have one. I've been out of work for a few months now. I taught pre-school and opted to not renew my contract at the end of the school year. I had some medical troubles and just needed a break. So now that I'm ready to go back to work, jobs are scarce. And as the weeks go by, the medical bills pile up. Here is the letter that I really want to send to the medical billing department:

Dear Sir:

It's not that I don't want to pay you, I really really do. I have just been a little bit tight on money lately, you know with being out of work and having been sick and all. But I think that $650 is more than reasonable for a CT Scan that takes less than 5 minutes of your was so nice of ya'll to cut the cost in half for me. And $450 is just such a bargain for pathology reports....who knew a few faxes could come so cheap?! Oh and boy, don't get me started on the $150 blood work and the $920 procedure. You folks are just amazing for cutting me such a break on those. It was just like Christmas when those bills came in! I wasn't even expecting them since you weren't required to tell me about the cost before the tests. It was such a thrill and I would just like to thank you for the sleepless nights, early morning phone calls and all the fun letters you've been sending me.

So, to sum it all up...I will get the money to you...eventually. There's a reason that not paying you won't eff up my credit too badly. That reason is that you people grossly overcharge. I'm quite confident that you won't starve without my payments.

All The Best, (yea, who am I kidding, that's a lie)

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